*kneels down* *makes the sign of the cross and whispers*
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been two years since my last confession, (Buckcherry blog), and I accuse myself of the following sins:
I ate an entire tray of peanut butter brownies and didn’t share with anyone. (Gluttony / Greed) I insulted a bunch of people from the south on twitter. (Wrath / Envy) I lied to a cop about how fast I was driving to get out of a ticket (Pride) and I didn’t go to church on Easter. (Sloth)
Oh, and the Lust, yeah, let’s not forget the Lust… *longest sigh ever*
For these and all the sins of my past life I am truly sorry. Well, sort of. I mean, mostly. Ummm errr, I could’ve done without the brownies, I guess.
Buckcherry recently released their sixth studio album called ‘Confessions’, which is based on the Seven deadly sins… (Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Wrath, Greed, and Sloth) The music is heavy and dark and the lyrics are beautifully written, much like this blog, with honest vulnerability.
So when I found out the band, was playing a show in NYC, at Irving Plaza, there was no way I was going to miss my chance to see them perform it live. But on the morning of, I contemplated if I should go or not. (Sloth? Pride?) Also, would I be welcome? Earlier this year, I celebrated a milestone birthday, the big 4-0, *deep sigh*, I must admit, it’s had me a little rattled. Not of my own doing, but because of the pressure put on me by other people. Maybe I should, but, I don’t live my life on a timeline, I never have. I live it being painfully self aware, a sign of maturity that can only come with age.
|As I’ve explained before, I live my life following signs, trusting in the universe and acting accordingly… torrential down pours? flash flooding?! dangerous lightening?? What is going on? *shakes fist at sky* Why have you forsaken me? Hmmm, was I not supposed to go? Just then, a quote from the bible sprang to mind “Stop trying to work things out before their times have come. Accept the limitations of living one day at a time. When you follow this practice, there will be a beautiful simplicity about your life: a time for everything, and everything in its time.” Meh, surely I’m over thinking this, the truth is, that, not long ago, I vowed, to live my life more in the moment and to NEVER have any regrets. So just as fast as I could tweet, “Staying home won’t be any fun or result in anything. Life is short, don’t forget to live it! #FuckTheRain”, the heavens opened up and the rain stopped! Thank you, God. Off I went, with no ticket, press pass or name on any guest list in sight. I arrived shortly before the band was to go on and somehow, got a sweet, legal, parking spot directly across from the venue. Things were really coming together! When I approached the entrance to buy my ticket, the guard at the door told me, “I gots you, pretty lady.” Me: “Ummm, what?” As he handed me a ticket, my pride/vanity was working over time… Was I really just given a free ticket for “being pretty”? Yes, yes I was… (Gasp! Outrage! The feminist in me is thinking “Love me for my mind and respect me, damn it!” Ha!) Me: “Thank you! But, can I ask why?” Guard: “You stand out, gurl, and shit, they’d be lucky to have you.” Nice! Feeling very grateful and I must admit, a little full of myself, in I went…
As I weaved my way through the crowd, like a cat, politely charming everyone in my path, the energy and tension was high. A man whispered in my ear, “How does a guy like me, get a girl like you?” Me: “You don’t. Ummm but mind if I stand in front of you?” The nerve of me! Desperate to impress me, he not only obliged, he actually started shoving people on my behalf… “Whoa whoa whoa, you don’t have to do that.”, I said. Doesn’t he know that Toni is a lover, NOT a fighter? He says, “You should be up front, trust me, they’d be lucky to have you.” As the band began to play, I laughed to myself at the obvious synchronicity and thought just how awesome the universe really was. I took this as a sign and quickly moved on to find my way left of stage eager to enjoy the show. In this moment, life is good.
They started out playing a bunch of my favorites, Ridin’, Rescue Me, All Night Long, Everything, to name a few… Eventually on to Gluttony, the first release off the latest album, which I caught on video below. I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it! I need it, I need it, I need it, I need it! I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it!! Fire, fire, fire, fire! huh huh uh huh huh!! What? umm never mind. Yes, I know, I know, it’s a bit shaky, sorry, but I’m having so much fun that I’m torn between living in the moment (shaking my ass), or documenting the moment. So, I tried my best to do both! Enjoy!
I don’t think you need to have full on addiction issues to be able to identify to some extent with a song like Gluttony. But by far, the most fun out of all of the Seven Deadly Sins has to be, hands down, Lust. You know that feeling you get when you meet someone completely unexpected and the attraction level is through the roof, then, when you finally kiss him, and you both come up for air and he looks into your eyes and he says “WOW”, that’s when you know you’re doing lust right! Wait, what? That’s never happened to you? Just me? Oh never mind then. Sounds like maybe you’re doing lust all wrong, or maybe, you just haven’t kissed me? What? I’m living in the moment and enjoying every second of it, remember? Never underestimate the power of an intense physical connection, it’s the stuff wars are fought over. Isn’t that the point of this little life we are all living anyway? Day in and day out everyone going through the motions blah blah blah. Borrring. Besides, anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m very much a go big or go the fuck home type of person. Life lasts a good ten minutes if you’re lucky, so don’t waste it. Say what you mean and do what you say and respect yourself along the way and you can’t go wrong. Lust me, respect me, lust me, respect me, lust me, respect me… It’s a fine line, indeed.
As I looked around taking everything in and processing the night, I noticed that some of these women around me were really young. Just then, this pesky guitar pick landed on my boob! On my boob! Damn it! What did I just say about respecting my boobs? Ahh forget it. Based on the fact that I was a good two rows back, I began to wonder if the guard at the door was on to something? Was he right about me standing out from the crowd? Maybe, either that, or someone has really good aim! I suspect a little bit of both. Ha, these little girls got nothin’ on me. Interesting how the guitar pick looks an awful lot like the sacramental host. Coincidence? I think not! Let us give thanks to the Lord for He is good.
As the night progressed I continued to live in the moment (shake my ass) and capture a few more amazing performances of songs off of the new album. Be sure to watch all the way through to the end of “Nothing Left but Tears” to catch a sweet cameo of me!
After the show I was greeted, as always, with hugs and kisses from a few of my friends in the band. How could I have even questioned not coming to the show? What was I thinking? Blasphemy! They are always welcoming and genuinely sweet! Well, duh, I’m Toni, and shit, it seems, they’d be lucky to have me!
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So remember, to love the people who treat you right, Forgive the ones who don’t and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it.
I hope you enjoyed my night out. The Lord has freed you from your sins. Go in peace, my child. And don’t forget to buy the new Buckcherry album, ‘Confessions’ until next time, xoxo Toni
For more photos check out The Gallery: Buckcherry: Irving Plaza
For more videos check out: The official Toni’s Night Out youtube channel